


Home Sweet home

by BlueJames



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-14
Updated: 2015-01-14
Packaged: 2018-03-07 13:55:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3175412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueJames/pseuds/BlueJames
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I had never had a home.  A place to call my own, where I was well and truly safe.  But that was before I knew him.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home Sweet home

**Author's Note:**

> Hello pandas! I hope my characters aren’t too OOC and that you like my OS.
> 
>  
> 
> Happy Reading !

I had never had a home. A place to call my own, where I was well and truly safe. But that was before I knew him. Him, my love, my Doctor. I’d found home in his arms. But I was only renting once or maybe twice a year, but never more. Perhaps this was why this was home: I could approach, even touch it, but rarely enter.

At times, I was a stranger to him and my home would not welcome strangers, it was too heavily guarded. I was disappointed and sad to be denied access; I was terribly afraid that the day would come when I could never enter again. So every time, I told myself that this would undoubtedly be the last time. Tears would fill my tears, but I always choked them back because I loved him and I never wanted to hurt him.

His arms were my shelter, my home. And he was my life and my everything, but I never told him this. I did not want to scare him. I didn’t want to lose my right to enter.

He approaches me as we stand alone in the TARDIS. No one is there to disturb us. He takes me into his arms. At last, I feel safe, far removed from any problems, far from the swiftly passing time, far from everything. I am home.

“I love you, River,” he breathes into my ear, as always. He never says it louder than a whisper, not even once. He always whispers in the same way, serious yet soft, as though the world might collapse if he speaks too loudly. I would have liked to shout it from the rooftops that I was in love with the Doctor, shout that I would love him until the very end. But I don’t, because the next Doctor I meet might not even know me. Instead, I remain reserved and mysterious, because I love him with my whole being.

My home has its own special aroma, smelling of the forest, cold and vanilla. I love this smell, this perfume that would bring tears to my eyes if I hadn’t known how to control my emotions. It is a smell that means everything to me, that can make me dream, make me feel alive.

When the Doctor kisses me, there is nothing else except for the feel of his lips on mine. The beating of his heart and the softness of his hand, intertwined with my own. When he kisses me, I feel like a woman. My chest swells with happiness and love.

But everything comes to an end and I have to leave my home and return to the cold of reality. I have to leave him and every time I do, it rips out my heart. Without him, I no longer feel like a woman, I don’t feel alive. I don’t feel like River Song. I’m just a living shell with no soul. Everyone needs a home and a family, and I always have to leave mine without ever knowing whether I would see him again.

When I leave my home, I am no longer thriving, but merely surviving.

 

**The End**

 


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